I travel a lot and routinely see execs cheating on their wives as though it was the most unremarkable thing in the world... so while I think you are making a bit of a meal of this, I take my hat off to you for being so conscientious - clearly you're one of the good'uns!edcat7 wrote: ↑Tue Oct 10, 2017 10:19 pmCan men and women be friends, especially if one is married?
Having spent the last six months working in Mykonos I was surrounded by beautiful girls. Since I am married I avoided all contact with the waitresses but at the same time I was intensely lonely. Was I right to decline the offer of just " a drink after work"?
I think men and women can be friends in the real world. Mykonos nightlife in the summer possibly isn't the real world
Thanks for that Dory I so agree and it's saved me a lot of typing.dory wrote: ↑Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:59 amI would say absolutely, and I am not young. I have been married for more than 30 years and have never had an affair-- nor has my husband, as far as I know. Several of his close friends have been women, occasionally considerably younger and thus more attractive than me. I did not care, because he never gave me reason to be jealous. In fact the friend I have been most jealous of is a (divorced and lonely) male friend who wanted to take all his time for a while. I have also had a number of close male friends, and have never seriously considered doing anything "improper" with them. It all depends on the attitude with which you go into the relationship. I would have and have had drinks with male friends. However, I have never "had drinks" in the context of a potential date. I think the boundaries are something within you, and I have never crossed those boundaries. because I wouldn't like it if my husband did. I think men who are afraid to have a meal, a coffee, etc with a woman alone are silly. In those situations you just have to be a bit more careful not to give off the wrong signal. I do admit I am more likely to touch or hug gay male friends than straight ones because there is no chance of being misinterpreted. That is all.
That is so sad. My best friend, outside of my hubby, is male and has been a pillar of strength when chronic illness has hit the family. Just having someone to listen to my rants about how unfair it all was was so helpful in allowing me to move on.edcat7 wrote: ↑Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:53 amWe chefs were struck by the loneliness of Mykonos and I'm sure the women must have felt the same too. I wanted to concentrate solely on my work and I feared that even one drink would lead to another occassion and another and a holiday romance would surely develop. There's a common saying in Mykonos: What goes on in Mykonos stays in Mykonos. I couldn't take the risk.
In the real world: I had lots of female friends at school and university but have lost contact with all of them.
I agree with this bit.
I'm less sure about this. Plenty have people have argued that ethics and morality are genetically encoded, e.g. Matt Ridley in The Origins of Virtue. Even going way back, one of the main themes of The Selfish Gene was that selfish genes build unselfish bodies. Dan Dennett has also argued that there is a survival or reproductive advantage in being perceived as good and trustworthy, and that your best chance of being perceived that way is to actually be that way.Ethics and morality are not genetically encoded but must be taught by parents or society. Draw your own conclusions. Playing again . . . Rognvald