Hello Leo, I think you've made an excellent job of this arrangement. It is clear and well set out; the fingerings are easy to read and make good sense.
I have an edition (the Ruggero Chiesa transcription from Edizioni Suivini Zerboni - Milano) of another of Schiffelholtz's sonatas (which is in D, but a fairly similar piece) and I must say your arrangement looks neater and easier to read. Did you use Finale?
The only thing I'd be tempted to try and do would be either to try and get it all on 3 pages, or to make the end of the first section the end of a page. This way the players don't have to make page turns in the middle of a musical phrase.
Are you going to publish the rest of the suite on Delcamp? I'd certainly like to play it with my duet partner.
Eric from GuitarLoot
Renaissance and Baroque freak; classical guitars by Lester Backshall (2008), Ramirez (Guitarra del Tiempo 2017),
Yamaha (SLG 130NW silent classical guitar 2014).