Am I being unreasonable?

Talk about things that are not necessarily related to music or the guitar.
beanctr
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by beanctr » Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:59 pm

Many years ago when I built my first classical I finished it in tru-oil. (I was proud of it but is was basically a train wreck.) I brought it into my office to show my boss, who played bluegrass mandolin and some guitar. As I stood in horror he pulled a pick out of his wallet and proceeded to bluegrass away scratching the heck out of the top. Of course I couldn't say anything. He handed it back and said that's nice and I took it home and sanded out what I could and refinished it. R
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Rick Beauregard
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Rick Beauregard » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:09 pm

I have a 40 year old Dauphin 30. My son learned to play on it. It has a golpeodor and it still has strumming marks on the soft cedar top. It reminds me of him at 14. I'll never sell that guitar.
All this time I thought I was making music; it was making me.
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Mollbarre
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Mollbarre » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:30 pm

You are not being unreasonable at all.

But - at the same time it's a difficult situation to be in. We should be able and willing to share.

I know I'm not good at "sharing". Never have been. It's just less stressful to have my own stuff - with regards to anything I truly care about.

And - kids, no matter how good they are, are still kids. They don't care about things as adults may. They don't think ahead about consequences. They don't think about, or have the means, to replace something they're damaged.

I am very fussy about whatever vehicle I happen to have. Doesn't matter if it's new or old - I fuss. I let the kids borrow my car from time to time, but stopped when I heard how they had a blast speeding down the gravel roads, doing doughnuts, gunning it...*blahblahblah*. Why should I take extra special care looking after something so someone else can wreck it? And then have the added privilege to pay for any damages on top of that?

I was brought up with the notion that if you borrow something, you return it in the same, or better, condition than when you first used it. That's also what I taught my kids, but apparently they rejected that philosophy - at least as teenagers.
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celestemcc
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by celestemcc » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:51 pm

And - kids, no matter how good they are, are still kids. They don't care about things as adults may. They don't think ahead about consequences. They don't think about, or have the means, to replace something they're damaged.
Yes, this. With teenagers, who look and sometimes act like adults, reason still doesn't cut it. At 14, "it can't happen to me," ("I won't scratch Dad's guitar if I'm careful,"). That's just teenage thinking, and they grow out of that, but it takes time.

You're allowed to have nice things of your own that the kids can't touch just yet. Even though you're a dad. Like others said, get him his own.
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Jorge Oliveira
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Jorge Oliveira » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:54 pm

I never, ever, used a plectrum to play any guitar, let alone mines. In spite of that, I was, quite recently, horrified to discover a scratch on my French Polished refinished Ryoji Matsuoka No. 50 (1976). I have no idea how it came about nor do I remember having bumped it against anything, but there it is, a hugly scratch on the top :( . My luthier, Christian Schwengeler, had warned me that FP is a very sensitive and I do the utmost for my guitars to avoid contact with buttons, zips, perspiration, etc. Still… so, no, you are not being unreasonable...
Last edited by Jorge Oliveira on Sun Mar 24, 2019 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
1972 - Kuniharu Nobe #8, 658/52, Spr, IN RW, Tokyo, JP
1976 - Ryoji Matsuoka No.50, 650/53, Ced, IN RW, JP
1979 - Ryoji Matsuoka No.40, 650/53, Ced, IN RW, JP
2014 - Hermanos Camps Master Nº 3, 650/52, CA Ced, MG RW, Banyoles, ES

Barry Guy
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Barry Guy » Sun Mar 24, 2019 10:45 pm

We can never win with teenagers, but remember we have all been there, my dad knew nothing when I was 14 but I don’t know where he got it from but he was a genius when I reached 21. I am a softy and buy my grand daughters instruments as soon as they show an interest. It is fantastic when they want to accompany you. Best Buy was a clarinet for the oldest grand daughter when she was 13, she took music at University and now is a primary school teacher. I have three guitars, and wish they showed an interest now, as it is a great pleasure playing together.

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Jacek A. Rochacki
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Jacek A. Rochacki » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:13 am

Is the guitar that we talk about here the classical guitar ? is the classical guitar the instrument that is to be played with plectrum ? I surely believe that the young gentleman is good player, but after reading this thread I think that the classical guitar is not "his" instrument. How it happened that he has developed the idea of touching classical guitar's strings with anything but his fingers - nail or no nail technique.

If I am wrong with my guess that the classical guitar is he instrument that is not to be played with plectrum - please correct me.
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Rick Hutt
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Rick Hutt » Mon Mar 25, 2019 1:36 pm

Even if you are being unreasonable, what's wrong that? Parents can be as unreasonable as they want, and of course teenagers never are.
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gitgeezer
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by gitgeezer » Mon Mar 25, 2019 3:04 pm

Show your son this guitar.

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Mollbarre
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Mollbarre » Mon Mar 25, 2019 3:27 pm

Lol...I notice that Willie didn't want to put stap pins on...guess he didn't want to "ruin" his guitar.... :lol:
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Rognvald
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Rognvald » Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:17 pm

Hi, Dan,
It is difficult to answer not knowing you or your son and the relationship you have together. This is always helpful. Otherwise, given a traditional father/son relationship, I would answer your son as follows: If you want to play my classical guitar, then you must study classical guitar and classical technique which involves learning plectrum style playing and understanding the physical/mechanical differences between classical guitar vs. your "electric guitar?" Generally, I would only allow someone of my level or above to play the instrument with the understanding that their playing would not result in new blemishes on my highly-valued instrument. If he didn't agree, then I would remind him that I love him but he's not going to play my guitar with a pick since it has nothing to do with with our father/son relationship but with good manners and respect for my wishes. It's a good lesson for your son that sometimes in life we don't get everything we want and would tell him if he's interested in playing CG, you would help him purchase his first instrument. Playing again . . . Rognvald
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra

Cass Couvelas
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by Cass Couvelas » Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:33 pm

simonm wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2019 12:36 pm
Tar and feathers was a traditional remedy for misbehavior. Probably not allowed anymore
There's a village in East Sussex in the south of England called Tarring Neville. I've often wondered what poor Neville did to suffer such misfortune!
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(Dorothy Parker on Katharine Hepburn)

MessyTendon
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by MessyTendon » Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:06 pm

LOL you paid 600 bucks for a guy to take a pad and buff back the finish? Hell I'll do that for a case of beer and bottle of gin...

I think you might be illogical. Your putting scratches on with your nails...but it's not okay if he uses a pick because he's gonna scratch it?

Is he mindful enough to know not to beat it up with the pick? I've used a plectrum on my guitars for experimental purposes...and I thought my god I am far less likely to scrap the top than if I were using nails.

Any strumming risks slipping and scratching the top. Maybe explain to him that a slip of the pick is more likely to permanently ding the top of the guitar than simple strumming with nails...

Either way your french polish is gonna flake, get scraped and abraded.

Yes you are being unreasonable in that you think you are less likely to scratch the finish because of nails...as opposed to a pick. It's wimpy french polish finish...

Some people use as little as possible...that I don't even understand...some people put more time into french polish. More finish...more durable, less finish less durable.

Why not create some honest playing wear with this guitar and your son and enjoy life....Superficially you can scar the hell out of the guitar, but sentimentally your gonna be an old geezer one day and realize it wasn't worth fussing over.

Enjoy the music. Scratch it up...

jake39
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by jake39 » Tue Mar 26, 2019 12:18 am

.

jake39
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Post by jake39 » Tue Mar 26, 2019 12:45 am

"LOL you paid 600 bucks for a guy to take a pad and buff back the finish? Hell I'll do that for a case of beer and bottle of gin..."

No part of this statement makes your case for turning pro LOL...

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