Uptempo, I am so sorry that you are still in pain.
As someone who has experienced more than my fair share of surgery, I would caution you on insisting that surgery will solve your problem. The trauma of surgery may increase inflammation and scar tissue and not give you the relief you seek. Surgery is a last resort.
You may say you are more than ready for that last resort, but although you mention several times that you are a tense and anxious person, and have had panic attacks, you have not mentioned if you have attempted to address those issues. The dysfunctional tension you habitually hold in your body may at the very least exacerbate your condition if not actually being the cause of it. There are at least two techniques I can think of that might be of some help in building awareness of tension being held dysfunctionally; bio feedback and yoga, especially yoga nidra which is a relaxation technique that does not involve cranking or stretching your body into strange postures.
Bio feedback is a technique taught at some mental health centers where you learn how to control response of you autonomous system. I learned it to overcome Reynaud's phenomenon in my fingertips and bring circulation back to them. It is also used to reduce high blood pressure or for migraines or other conditions. It usually takes three or four sessions to get the hang of it.
Yoga nidra is a technique where in a comfortable position, you are guided into an aware and relaxed state. I have a CD recording of my yoga teacher's yoga nidra session (which she does as part of The Veteran's Project to help those suffering from PTS), and would be happy to send it to you. Just send me a PM.
If nothing else, either of these techniques will give you something positive to do about your discomfort and neither are likely to hurt you in any way.
When the sun shines, bask.
Classical Guitar forever!